The struggle of April has been finding balance. After writing up a storm in March, I wanted to keep up the momentum into the next month and while I managed to write a lot, I wasn’t able to do nearly as much as I would like. To write, to pitch and to be creative you need time – and I lack time. The pressures of balancing part-time work and my writing have been incredibly difficult these past thirty days – and I’m ashamed of that. The stress has settled almost permanently in my lower back, and even right now, thinking about getting up tomorrow and serving coffee makes my muscles tense. I wish it wasn’t like that, but it is.
That doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for all the amazing opportunities I have, or even the amazing people I work with at my coffee job. It’s just very hard sometimes. It’s hard when you feel spread out in a million different directions, and the little sleep you do get ends up being haunted by nightmares as you worry about running out of time. On the other hand, I’m as motivated as ever to make this work – I’m fighting to not only write more but to write better.
I’m especially happy to take on a new project with Vague Visages addressing questions of film criticism, Why Criticism?. So far I’ve done two pieces, both personal essays. The next one will be more of the same, but sooner than later I want to branch out with some interviews and different kinds of writing. I am also especially interested in writing more about digital media, all the videos that I watch that are not quite a film and not quite tv – something new and exciting. The struggle with that is finding the right words. If you want to be writing about vloggers or video game live streaming, what context do you drum up? It’s something I’m devoted to working on, excited to make it happen.
As with every birthday month, I also put together my favourite films of all time which you can check out at Letterboxd.
Best Films I Watched For the First Time
The Bitter Tears of Petra Von Kant (R.W. Fassbinder)
Detour (Edgar G. Ulmer)
In This Our Life (John Huston)
The Jungle Book (Jon Favreau)
The Love Witch (Anna Biller)